The Psychology of Hierarchical
Structures and its Implications for Gender Relations
Dr. Sr. Rosamma John, ICM, Ph.D
Story 1:
Sr. Saritha, 35, is a Principal of a CBSC school in Kerala. This is a
newly started mission of the congregation. Of course the congregation wishes
the best for the mission. The parish priest who lives within the campus is a
powerful and influential person in the society and in the government offices.
Being a new school the sisters need his help for obtaining various permissions from
the government concerning the school. So they need to keep a good relationship
with the priest for the sake of the mission.
But the priest has a weakness concerning sexuality. He waits for any opportunity
to misbehave with the sisters. The sisters have to be extremely careful not to
create an opportunity for abuse. The provincial also knows about it, so very
young and naïve sisters are not placed in the community. These sisters are also
aware of the sexual abuses happening in the global church. Yet they are in a dilemma
because if they expose him their mission will be affected. As of now these
sisters decided to help protect one another and continue in the mission.
Story 2.
Sr. Elsy, 54, shared this in a confidential session. “I have been
abused by a few priests in my life. I feel very bad about it, yet I feel it as
my fate. I believe that priests are next to Jesus Christ and they must be
supported and revered and helped so that they can administer the sacraments to
save souls. Isn’t it the duty of the sisters as well as the faithful to help
the priests? So I console myself thinking that I am helping a priest to remain
in his priestly vocation by silently cooperating with him in his sexual
expressions.”
The Making of Domination-Subordination Psyche:
In any hierarchical structure,
there is a dominant group and a subordinate group. Both groups have their own psychological
characteristics which they have internalized over the centuries of careful
practice. Recognizing these characteristics which are engraved in the psyche is
an important factor in bridging the inequality in gender relations in the church.
1.
The
Psyche of the Dominant Group
The dominant group feels superior to the subordinate group because they
presume to have certain qualities that the subordinate do not possess. We
understand that men and higher caste people belong to the dominant group and
women and low caste people belong to the subordinate group.
· The dominants think that they have more knowledge and hence have more
wisdom. They have studied Theology, morality, philosophy etc. which were
not subjects for women in the past.
· They believe that their behaviours are the standard ones. They know the etiquette,
customs etc of the cultured society. For example, expression of emotions is
considered a weakness and substandard behavior for a cultured person.
· Important
and highly valued functions of the society must be done by the superior group.
This presupposes that some functions in
the society are more valued than others. Pujas must be done by the male
priests, Women may do the cleaning of the holy places, washing of alter clothes
etc., but when the Puja starts they may not be seen there. In some societies
menstruating ‘unholy’ women have no entry in holy places.
In the church
women were excluded from the ordained ministry. Only after Vat II, women used
the term ‘ministry’ for the ‘auxiliary’ services they do; like teaching, social
work, nursing etc. In the long run women felt a sense of sacral unworthiness
simply because of being women. This also brought total sacramental dependence
on men. Sisters had no say in choosing their own chaplains. The priest was
representative of God –another Christ. This concept divinized all men since in
principle all men (including boys) can become priests.
·
As a corollary there are functions that are less valued in the society; like, cleaning,
household chores, cooking, nursing, childrearing etc. These are typically assigned to women. For example,
in a remote parish one sister prepared the children for the first Holy
Communion. She spent months preparing them by teaching the catechism of the
church. On the day the priest administered the sacrament of the Holy Communion.
Photos were clicked with communicants and the priest in glittering garbs, while
the sister remained in the background. The climax came when after the mass the seminarian
asked the sister to go to the dinner hall and prepare the table for the
priests. The sister broke down in tears feeling dejected, and felt as an object
for use-and-throw. Even seminarians
have imbibed such attitudes so early in their formation.
·
Dominant group does not value or respect the subordinates, so their words and
actions are destructive. For example, a husband tells his wife in a sarcastic
way “what do you know anyway?”. We hear many degrading jokes about women and
nuns, sometimes from the pulpit too. There are very many subtle and sometimes
loud and clear instances of such debasing attitudes which we have internalized.
Recently, I was
introducing a woman resource person to a male organizer to present a paper for
a conference. He asked me if she is capable to present the matter to such an
august audience. When I mentioned a male name who can join her, the organizer
seemed to be happy. In fact, the woman is his teacher in that particular art.
·
Dominant group makes the important decisions in the society. The Synods of
Bishops, Bishops’ conferences, and so on makes important decisions in the
church without input from women. This has kept women from exercising leadership
in the church which in turn has deprived women from their sense of themselves
as leaders and persons with resources.
2.
The Psyche of the Subordinate Group
1.
Subordinates have
internalized all the above mentioned untruths over the centuries: That they are not capable, they don’t know much, they need to be
affirmed by the dominants, their opinions are not important, they have to care
and protect the dominants, etc. In the case of Sr. Saritha, she undermines her
capacity to become an influential person in the government offices and society.
So she needs the help of this influential priest at any cost! Low self-esteem
is a problem in girls and women, and we know this as the consequence of
subordination over the centuries. Even many highly educated women suffer from
this.
2.
Subordinates have
to concentrate on their survival.
Hence, direct and honest reactions are avoided. Economic dependence on the
husband will make the wife suffer in silence for the sake of children. A
reactive wife is nicknamed as ‘witch’, ‘she-rules’ etc. The dictionary contains
more than 400 such words for so called bad
women.
Women religious
are dependent on the priest for the celebration of Eucharist. If the sisters
react, the priest will refuse to offer mass in the convent which is a threat to
their spiritual life. I know a case where the priest denied communion to a
sister in the parish church which is experienced as a great humiliation to her.
So some sisters had to go to the neighbouring parish for Sunday mass. It became
a scandal in the local church.
3.
For survival’s sake subordinates will have to develop the psychological
characteristics pleasing to the dominants; like, submissiveness, passivity, docility, dependency, inability
to act, to decide, to think etc. Over the years women are conditioned to accept
these as feminine characteristics. Such a woman is considered a good wife, good
nun, etc. If any woman behaves in an aggressive manner, she is ostracized from
the society. Hence, women consciously have to overcome this internalized
attitudes to express her opinions in the parish council meetings, or in any
mixed group she is invited.
4.
There is another set of valuable traits
practiced by women over the centuries and these have become traits assigned only for women, and less valued (or even
to be avoided sometimes) by the dominant group. In fact men will enhance their
character if they integrate these qualities.
a.
Accepting vulnerability/weakness
as a human trait will help men to understand and respect other human beings. In
the past, the dominant society valued strength as a desired character and
weakness is to be avoided. Strength is also defined only in terms of physical
strength. We know there are many other parameters for strength.
b.
Accepting emotionality
as healthy and normal in all human beings is essential. So far some emotions
are considered proper for men and some others proper for women. Especially
emotions like sadness, tenderness, affection etc. are considered improper for
men and hence their capacity for expression of love to build relationship is
limited.
c.
An integral understanding of the nature of activity-passivity is needed for
mutuality in relationship. Men are considered active and women passive. Women’s
activity is in the context of relationships which is not considered as activity.
Listening to another, taking in, receiving, or accepting from another, are
often seen as passive. However, they all generate a response, for, one never
merely passively receives; one also reacts. Activity is not only physical and
externally visible, but there are also internal activities that are very
valuable.
d.
It is a common negative dictum that women change
their mind so often. Yet, Change is an
integral part of growth and we know that active listening calls forth change in
attitudes, beliefs, and so on. Stop changing means stop growing. Mothers have
the capacity to grow and change along with their growing children. After the
Vatican II, it was women religious who effected the changes in life, such as integrating
with the laity with more ease and living the incarnation aspect of Christian
life.
e.
Women are also accused of being dependent. An
important aspect of women’s psychology is their greater recognition of the
essential cooperative nature of human
existence (Miller, 1976). Miller defines cooperative as one that aids and
enhances the development of other human beings while advancing one’s own. This
cooperative nature is usually misunderstood as dependency. In a world that is
becoming more and more self-centered and marginalizing the weaker sections, it
is important be inclusive and relational.
f.
Serving or
caring for others is also considered as women’s work. In our society
serving others is for ‘low’ caste people. Women have been caring in the
families and in the society over the centuries. It doesn’t mean that only women
are able to do these works. It is important for the integral growth of men too
that they cook, serve at table, wash altar clothes, etc. Only then can the
meaning of equal partnership become practical in our lives.
Here I have enumerated some of
the negative consequences of the patriarchal past on women. Understanding these
internalized attitudes and values is important for both men and women to bring
about equality in gender relations. It has wide ranging consequences in
building a church in the model of servant leadership. Though not in the scope
of this paper, I do believe that there are qualitative characteristic
differences between men and women, for God created the containers different
with purpose. The glory of God is woman and man fully alive in their own
uniqueness but not unequal. The following futuristic implications are derived
from this uniqueness when women would become internally free to define her way
of being in the world and in the church.
Implications for Gender relations
The making of the psyche of men
and women over the centuries have great impact on the society; in its value
systems, its spirituality, and its morality. Here I shall propose a few areas
of implications to be considered for the equal partnership in the church and
society.
1.
First, women have to become aware of the
internalized subjugation experienced over the centuries and do all that is
needed to change the gender equations. Women need to become aware of the
socio-cultural and religious restrictions imposed on them and regain autonomy,
self-actualization, and self-transcendence. It implies that women religious
have to be educated in religious as well as secular fields, and setting apart a
proportionate amount of budget of the church towards this. Women religious need
to be given sufficient freedom and opportunity for expression and
experimentation in ministry so that they are able to define their unique way of
being as women and religious.
2.
Second, we need to develop a new understanding
of spirituality that includes women’s ways of thinking, feeling and
functioning, which throws away the dualistic model of thinking. That is, people
are not up or down, not a pyramid but a circle of all creation, a new manner of
relating that will enhance supportive network between men and women. This will
espouse non-competitive, non-hierarchical, and non-dominating model of
relationships.
3.
Third, accepting vulnerability/weakness as human
nature will require exposure of one’s weakness and confession of
feelings/emotions. We are coming from a past that believed that ‘men are strong
and women are weak’ in many ways. Relationship thrives in situations when we
encounter vulnerability. Recall the words of St. Paul, “when I am weak, then I
am strong” (2 Cor.12:10). This will also help us to ally with all the weak and
wounded people in the world.
4.
Fourth, the Catholic Church increasingly
venerates Mary, the Mother of God and sings her praises in many beautiful
words. Devotees are able to relate to her in a very personal and affectionate manner.
If only we could recognize all these qualities in God, we will experience God
as feminine too – maternal, creating from herself, source of life, good counsel
etc. Then we will be able to see women created in the image of God. This is a
missing link in our concept of God, and hence our spirituality too. We need to
realize that God has a feminine heart. The church speaks of its mandate of
passion for God and passion for people. We cannot feel passion without a heart
of flesh, a heart that can feel emotions. This understanding of God as feminine
also will help us to see women as created in the image and likeness of God.
5.
Fifth, we need to change our mentality that
women are incomplete, inferior, not to be trusted. Instead we need to believe
in women’s capacity to transform the world through creating, nourishing, and caring
relationships. Women are able to create a network of connections through their
relational way of knowing, living, and acting. Creating new society need not be
through control by use of power, money, and sexual aggression. This applies to
the church and its ministry too, where we can think of new manner of being
church. For this women need to continue to define and evolve their own
spirituality.
6.
Finally, I believe that both men and women are
the victims of skewed formation of their psyche due to the experience of
domination-subordination over the centuries. What is called for is an awakening
from this state with empathy and humility, and to reform our psyche through
education and mutual sharing to bring about an egalitarian society. Antagonizing
the other with blame–games will only delay the process. Courses on physiology
and psychology of sexuality and sexual behavior are inadequate in our formation
houses. This education must be done on the moral ground of concern and respect
for the other rather than on self-fulfilling ground alone.
In conclusion we envisage a society healed from the
brokenness of years of subjugation of women and restore humanity in its
pristine form of God’s own image and likeness.
Bibliography
1.
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2.
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3.
Miller, J.B. (1976). Towards a new psychology of women. Penguin Books Ltd. Middlesex, England.
4.
Miller, J. B. (1986). What do we mean by relationships? (Work in Progress No.22). Wellesley, MA: Stone Center.
5.
Miller, J.B. (1991). Women and power. In Women’s growth in connection: Writings from the Stone Center. In
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SPIRITUALITY TODAY Summer
1983, Vol. 35, No. 2, pp. 100-116.
