"Relatio Synodi" of the III Extraordinary
General Assembly of the Synod of Bishops: “Pastoral Challenges to the Family
in the Context of Evangelization” (5-19 October 2014), 18.10.2014
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction
Part I
Listening: The Context and the Challenges of the Family
The Socio-Cultural Context
The Importance of Affectivity in Life
Pastoral Challenges
Part II
Looking at Christ: The Gospel of the Family
Looking at Jesus and Divine
Pedagogy in the History of Salvation
The Family in God’s Salvific Plan
The Family in Church’s Documents
The Indissolubility of Matrimony and the Joy of Sharing Life Together
The Truth and Beauty of the Family and Mercy Towards Broken and Fragile
Families
Part III
Confronting the Situation: Pastoral Perspectives
Proclaiming the Gospel of the
Family Today in Various Contexts
Guiding Engaged Couples in Their Preparation for Marriage
Accompanying the Married Couple in the Initial Years of Marriage
Pastoral Care for Couples Civilly Married or Living Together
Caring for Wounded Families (Persons who are Separated, Divorced and Not
Remarried, Divorced and Remarried and Single-Parent Families)
Pastoral Attention towards Persons with Homosexual Tendencies
The Transmission of Life and the Challenges of the Declining Birthrate
Upbringing and the Role of the Family in Evangelization
Conclusion
* * *
Introduction
1. The Synod of Bishops, gathered
around the Holy Father, turned its thoughts to all the families of the world,
each with its joys, difficulties and hopes. In a special way, the Assembly
felt a duty to give thanks to the Lord for the generosity and faithfulness of
so many Christian families in responding to their vocation and mission, which
they fulfill with joy and faith, even when living as a family requires facing
obstacles, misunderstandings and suffering. The entire Church and this Synod
express to these families our appreciation, gratitude and encouragement.
During the prayer vigil held in St Peter’s Square on 4 October 2014 in
preparation for the Synod on the family, Pope Francis evoked, in a simple yet
concrete way, the centrality [of the experience] of the family in everyone’s
lives: “Evening falls on our assembly. It is the hour at which one willingly
returns home to meet at the same table, in the depth of affection, of the
good that has been done and received, of the encounters which warm the heart
and make it grow, good wine which anticipates the unending feast in the days
of man. It is also the weightiest hour for one who finds himself face to face
with his own loneliness, in the bitter twilight of shattered dreams and
broken plans; how many people trudge through the day in the blind alley of
resignation, of abandonment, even resentment: in how many homes the wine of
joy has been less plentiful, and therefore, also the zest — the very wisdom —
for life […]. Let us make our prayer heard for one another this evening, a
prayer for all.”
2. Within the family are joys and
trials, deep love and relationships which, at times, can be wounded. The
family is truly the “school of humanity” (Gaudium et Spes, 52), which
is much needed today. Despite the many signs of crisis in the family
institution in various areas of the “global village”, the desire to marry and
form a family remains vibrant, especially among young people, and serves as
the basis of the need of the Church, an expert in humanity and faithful to
her mission to proclaim untiringly and with profound conviction the “Gospel
of the Family”, entrusted to her together with the revelation of God’s love
in Jesus Christ and ceaselessly taught by the Fathers, the masters of
spirituality and the Church’s Magisterium. The family is uniquely important
to the Church and in these times, when all believers are invited to think of
others rather than themselves, the family needs to be rediscovered as the
essential agent in the work of evangelization. Think of the witness of so
many families that fulfill their Christian mission.
3. At the Extraordinary General
Assembly of October, 2014, the Bishop of Rome called upon the Synod of
Bishops to reflect upon the critical and invaluable reality of the family, a
reflection which will then be pursued in greater depth at its Ordinary General
Assembly scheduled to take place in October, 2015, as well as during the full
year between the two synodal events. “The convenire in unum around
the Bishop of Rome is already an event of grace, in which episcopal
collegiality is made manifest in a path of spiritual and pastoral
discernment.” These were the words used by Pope Francis in describing the
synodal experience and indicating the task at hand: to read both the signs of
God and human history, in a twofold yet unique faithfulness which this reading
involves.
4. With these words in mind, we
have gathered together the results of our reflections and our discussions in
the following three parts: listening, so as to look at the
reality of the family today in all its complexities, both lights and shadows; looking,
our gaze is fixed on Christ to ponder, with renewed freshness and enthusiasm,
what revelation, transmitted in the Church’s faith, tells us about the
beauty, the role and the dignity of the family; and confronting the situation,
with an eye on the Lord Jesus, to discern the ways in which the Church and
society can renew their commitment to the family founded upon the marriage
between a man and a woman.
PART I
Listening:
The Context and Challenges of the Family
The
Socio-Cultural Context
5. Faithful to Christ’s teaching,
we look to the reality of the family today in all its complexity, with both
its lights and shadows. We turn our thoughts to parents, grandparents,
brothers and sisters, close and distant relatives and the bonds between two
families forged by marriage. Anthropological and cultural changes in our
times influence all aspects of life and require an analytic and diversified
approach. The positive aspects are first to be highlighted, namely, a greater
freedom of expression and a better recognition of the rights of women and
children, at least in some parts of the world. On the other hand, equal
consideration needs to be given to the growing danger represented by a
troubling individualism which deforms family bonds and ends up considering each
component of the family as an isolated unit, leading, in some cases, to the
idea that a person is formed according to his own desires, which are
considered absolute. Added to this is the crisis of faith, witnessed among a
great many Catholics, which oftentimes underlies the crisis in marriage and
the family.
6. One symptom of the great
poverty of contemporary culture is loneliness, arising from the absence of
God in a person’s life and the fragility of relationships. There is also a
general feeling of powerlessness in the face of socio-cultural realities that
oftentimes end in crushing families. Such is the case in increasing instances
of poverty and unemployment in the workplace, which at times is a real
nightmare or in overwhelming financial difficulties, which discourage the
young from marrying. Families often feel abandoned by the disinterest and
lack of attention by institutions. The negative impact on the organization of
society is clear, as seen in the demographic crisis, in the difficulty of
raising children, in a hesitancy to welcome new life and in considering the
presence of older persons as a burden. All these can affect a person’s
emotional balance, which can sometimes lead to violence. The State has the
responsibility to pass laws and create work to ensure the future of young
people and help them realize their plan of forming a family.
7. Some cultural and religious
contexts pose particular challenges. In some places, polygamy is still being
practiced and in places with long traditions, the custom of “marriage in
stages”. In other places, “arranged marriages” are an enduring practice. In
countries where Catholicism is the minority, many mixed and interreligious
marriages take place, all with their inherent difficulties in terms of
jurisprudence, Baptism, the upbringing of children and the mutual respect
with regards to difference in faith. In these marriages there can be a danger
of relativism or indifference; but there can also be the possibility of
fostering the spirit of ecumenism and interreligious dialogue in a living
together of diverse communities in the same place. In many places, and not
only in the West, there has been a widespread increase in the practice of
cohabitation before marriage or simply cohabitating with no intention of a
legally binding relationship. In addition to this, there is often civil
legislation which compromises marriage and the family. Because of
secularization in many parts of the world, the reference to God is greatly
diminished and the faith is no longer shared socially.
8. Especially in some countries, a
great number of children are born outside marriage, many of whom subsequently
grow up with just one of their parents or in a blended or reconstituted
family. Divorces are increasing, many times taking place solely because of
economic reasons. Oftentimes, children are a source of contention between
parents and become the real victims of family break-ups. Fathers who are
often absent from their families not simply for economic reasons need to
assume more clearly their responsibility for children and the family. The
dignity of women still needs to be defended and promoted. In fact, in many
places today, simply being a woman is a source of discrimination and the gift
of motherhood is often penalized rather than esteemed. Not to be overlooked
is the increasing violence against women, where they become victims,
unfortunately, often within families and as a result of the serious and
widespread practice of genital mutilation in some cultures. The sexual
exploitation of children is still another scandalous and perverse reality in
present-day society. Societies experiencing violence due to war, terrorism or
the presence of organized crime are witnessing the deterioration of the
family, above all in big cities, where, in their peripheral areas, the
so-called phenomenon of “street-children” is on the rise. Furthermore,
migration is another sign of the times to be faced and understood in terms of
its onerous consequences to family life.
The
Importance of Affectivity in Life
9. Faced with the aforementioned
social situation, people in many parts of the world are feeling a great need
to take care of themselves, to know themselves better, to live in greater
harmony with their emotions and feelings and to seek affective relationships
of quality in the best manner possible. These proper aspirations can lead to
a desire to put greater effort into building relationships of self-giving and
creative reciprocity, which are empowering and supportive like those within a
family. In this case, however, individualism and living only for one’s self
are a real danger. The challenge for the Church is to assist couples in their
emotive maturation and affective development through fostering dialogue,
virtue and trust in the merciful love of God. The full commitment required in
marriage can be a strong antidote to the temptation of a selfish
individualism.
10. Cultural tendencies in today’s
world seem to set no limits on a person’s affectivity in which every aspect
needs to be explored, even those which are highly complex. Indeed, nowadays
the question of affective fragility is a pressing one; a narcissistic,
unstable or changeable affectivity does not always allow a person to grow to
maturity. Particularly worrisome is the spread of pornography and the commercialization
of the body, fostered also by a misuse of the internet and reprehensible
situations where people are forced into prostitution. In this context,
couples are often uncertain, hesitant and struggling to find ways to grow.
Many tend to remain in the early stages of their affective and sexual life. A
crisis in a couple’s relationship destabilizes the family and may lead,
through separation and divorce, to serious consequences for adults, children
and society as a whole, weakening its individual and social bonds. The
decline in population, due to a mentality against having children and
promoted by the world politics of reproductive health, creates not only a
situation in which the relationship between generations is no longer ensured
but also the danger that, over time, this decline will lead to economic
impoverishment and a loss of hope in the future. The development of
bio-technology has also had a major impact on the birthrate.
11. In this regard, the Church is
conscious of the need to offer a word of truth and hope, which is based that
man comes from God, and that, consequently, a reflection of capable of
reframing the great questions about the meaning of human existence can be
responsive to humanity's most profound expectations. The great values of
marriage and the Christian family correspond to the search that characterizes
human existence, even in these times of individualism and hedonism. People
need to be accepted in the concrete circumstances of life. We need to know
how to support them in their searching and to encourage them in their hunger
for God and their wish to feel fully part of the Church, also including those
who have experienced failure or find themselves in a variety of situations.
The Christian message always contains in itself the reality and the dynamic
of mercy and truth that meet in Christ.
Looking
at Christ: the Gospel of the Family
Looking
at Jesus and the Divine Pedagogy in the History of Salvation
12. In order to “walk among
contemporary challenges, the decisive condition is to maintain a fixed gaze
on Jesus Christ, to pause in contemplation and in adoration of his Face. ...
Indeed, every time we return to the source of the Christian experience, new
paths and undreamed of possibilities open up” (Pope Francis, Discourse,
4 October 2014). Jesus looked upon the women and the men he met with love and
tenderness, accompanying their steps with patience and mercy, in proclaiming
the demands of the Kingdom of God.
13. Since the order of creation is
determined by its orientation towards Christ, a distinction needs to be made
without separating the various levels through which God communicates to
humanity the grace of the covenant. By reason of the divine pedagogy,
according to which the order of creation develops through successive stages
to the order of redemption, we need to understand the newness of the
Christian Sacrament of Marriage in continuity with natural marriage of the
origins, that is, the manner of God’s saving action in both creation and the
Christian life. In creation, because all things were made through Christ and
for him (cf. Col 1:16), Christians “gladly and reverently lay bare the seeds
of the Word which lie hidden among their fellows; they ought to follow
attentively the profound changes which are taking place among peoples” (Ad
Gentes, 11). In the Christian life, the reception of Baptism brings the
believer into the Church through the domestic church, namely, the
family; thus beginning “a dynamic process [which] develops, one which
advances gradually with the progressive integration of the gifts of God” (Familiaris
Consortio, 9), in an ongoing conversion to a love that saves us from sin
and gives us fullness of life.
14. Jesus himself, referring to
the original plan of the human couple, reaffirms the indissoluble union
between a man and a woman, though saying to the Pharisees that “for your
hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the
beginning it was not so”(Mt 19: 8). The indissolubility of
marriage (“what therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder” Mt 19:6),
is to be understood not as a “yoke” imposed on persons but as a “gift” to a
husband and wife united in marriage. In this way, Jesus shows how God’s
humbling act of coming to earth might always accompany the human journey and
might heal and transform a hardened heart with his grace, orientating it
towards its principle, by way of the cross. The Gospels make clear that
Jesus’ example is paradigmatic for the Church. In fact, Jesus was born in a
family; he began to work his signs at the wedding of Cana and he announced
the meaning of marriage as the fullness of revelation that restores the
original divine plan (Mt 19:3). At the same time, however, he put
what he taught into practice and manifested the true meaning of mercy,
clearly illustrated in his meeting with the Samaritan woman (Jn 4:1-30)
and with the adulteress (Jn 8:1-11). By looking at the sinner
with love, Jesus leads the person to repentance and conversion (“Go and sin
no more”), which is the basis for forgiveness.
The
Family in God’s Salvific Plan
15. The words of eternal life,
which Jesus gave to his disciples, included the teaching on marriage and the
family. Jesus’ teaching allows us to distinguish three basic stages in God's
plan for marriage and the family. In the beginning, there is the original
family, when God the Creator instituted the first marriage between Adam and
Eve as the solid foundation of the family. God not only created human beings
male and female (Gen 1:27), but he also blessed them so they might be
fruitful and multiply (Gen 1:28). For this reason, “a man leaves
his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife and the two become one flesh”
(Gen 2:24). This union was wounded by sin and became the
historical form of marriage among the People of God, for which Moses granted
the possibility of issuing a bill of divorce (cf. Dt 24:1ff.).
This was the principal practice in the time of Jesus. With Christ’s coming
and his reconciling a fallen world through his redemption, the period begun
by Moses ended.
16. Jesus, who reconciled all
things in himself, restored marriage and the family to their original form (Mk 10:1-12).
Marriage and the family have been redeemed by Christ (Eph 5:21-32),
restored in the image of the Holy Trinity, the mystery from which every true
love flows. The spousal covenant, originating in creation and revealed in the
history of salvation, receives its full meaning in Christ and his Church.
Through his Church, Christ bestows on marriage and the family the grace
necessary to witness to the love of God and to live the life of communion.
The Gospel of the Family spans the history of the world from the creation of
man in the image and likeness of God (cf. Gn 1: 26-27) until
it reaches, at the end of time, its fulfillment in the mystery of the
Christ’s Covenant with the wedding of Lamb (cf. Rev 19:9)
(cf. John Paul II, Catechesis on Human Love).
The
Family in the Church’s Documents
17. “Throughout the centuries, the
Church has maintained her constant teaching on marriage and family. One of
the highest expressions of this teaching was proposed by the Second Vatican
Council, in the Pastoral Constitution Gaudium et Spes, which
devotes an entire chapter to promoting the dignity of marriage and the family
(cf. Gaudium et Spes, 47-52). This document defined marriage as a
community of life and love (cf. Gaudium et Spes, 48), placing
love at the center of the family and manifesting, at the same time, the truth
of this love in counter distinction to the various forms of reductionism
present in contemporary culture. The ‘true love between husband and wife’ (Gaudium
et Spes, 49) implies a mutual gift of self and includes and integrates
the sexual and affective aspects, according to the divine plan (cf. Gaudium
et Spes, 48-49). Furthermore, Gaudium et Spes, 48, emphasizes the
grounding of the spouses in Christ. Christ the Lord ‘comes into the lives of
married Christians through the Sacrament of Matrimony’ and remains with them.
In the Incarnation, he assumes human love, purifies it and brings it to
fulfillment and gives to the spouses, with his Spirit, the capacity to live
that love, permeating every part of their lives of faith, hope and charity.
In this way, the bride and groom are, so to speak, consecrated and, through
his grace, they build up the Body of Christ and are a domestic church (cf. Lumen
Gentium, 11), so that the Church, in order fully to understand her
mystery, looks to the Christian family, which manifests her in a real way” (Instrumentum
Laboris, 4).
18. “In the wake of Vatican II,
the papal Magisterium has further refined the doctrine on marriage and the
family. In a special way, Blessed Pope Paul VI, in his Encyclical Humanae
Vitae, displayed the intimate bond between conjugal love and the
generation of life. Pope St. John Paul II devoted special attention to the
family in his catechesis on human love, his Letter to Families (Gratissimam
Sane) and, especially, his Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris
Consortio. In these documents, the Pope called the family the ‘way of the
Church,’ gave an overview on the vocation of man and woman to love and
proposed the basic guidelines for the pastoral care of the family and the
presence of the family in society. In specifically treating ‘conjugal love’
(cf.Familiaris Consortio, 13), he described how the spouses, through
their mutual love, receive the gift of the Spirit of Christ and live their
call to holiness” (Instrumentum Laboris, 5).
19. “Pope Benedict XVI, in his
Encyclical Deus Caritas Est, again took up the topic of the truth
of the love between man and woman, which is fully understood only in light of
the love of Christ Crucified (cf. Deus Caritas Est, 2). The Pope
emphasized that ‘marriage based on an exclusive and definitive love becomes
the icon of the relationship between God and his people and vice versa. God's
way of loving becomes the measure of human love’ (Deus Caritas Est,
11). Moreover, in his Encyclical Caritas in Veritate, he emphasizes
the importance of love as the principle of life in society (cf. Caritas
in Veritate, 44), the place where a person learns to experience the
common good” (Instrumentum Laboris, 6).
20. “Pope Francis, in his
Encyclical Lumen Fidei, treating the connection between the
family and faith, writes: ‘Encountering Christ, letting themselves (young
people) be caught up in and guided by his love, enlarges the horizons of
existence, gives it a firm hope which will not disappoint. Faith is no refuge
for the fainthearted, but something which enhances our lives. It makes us
aware of a magnificent calling, the vocation of love. It assures us that this
love is trustworthy and worth embracing, for it is based on God’s
faithfulness which is stronger than our every weakness’ (Lumen Fidei,
53)” (Instrumentum Laboris, 7).
The
Indissolubility of Marriage and the Joy of Sharing Life Together
21. Mutual self-giving in the
Sacrament of Marriage is grounded in the grace of Baptism, which establishes
the foundational covenant of every person with Christ in the Church. In
accepting each other and with Christ’s grace, the engaged couple promises a total
self-giving, faithfulness and openness to new life. The married couple
recognizes these elements as constitutive in marriage, gifts offered to them
by God, taking seriously their mutual commitment, in God’s name and in the
presence of the Church. So, in faith it is possible to assume the goods of
marriage as commitments which are more sustainable through the help of the
grace of the Sacrament. God consecrates the love of husband and wife and
confirms its indissolubility, offering them assistance to live their
faithfulness, mutual complementarity and openness to life. Therefore, the
Church looks to married couples as the heart of the entire family, which, in
turn, looks to Jesus.
22. From the same perspective, in
keeping with the teaching of the Apostle who said that the whole of creation
was planned in Christ and for him (cf. Col 1:16), the Second
Vatican Council wished to express appreciation for natural marriage and the
valid elements present in other religions (cf. Nostra Aetate, 2)
and cultures, despite their limitations and shortcomings (cf.Redemptoris
Missio, 55). The presence of the seeds of the Word in these cultures (cf. Ad
Gentes, 11) could even be applied, in some ways, to marriage and the
family in so many non-Christian societies and individuals. Valid elements,
therefore, exist in some forms outside of Christian marriage — based,
however, on a stable and true relationship of a man and a woman — which, in
any case, we maintain are oriented towards Christian marriage. With an eye to
the popular wisdom of different peoples and cultures, the Church also
recognizes this type of family as the basic, necessary and fruitful unit for
humanity’s life together.
The
Truth and Beauty of the Family and Mercy Towards Broken and Fragile Families
23. With inner joy and deep
comfort, the Church looks to families who remain faithful to the teachings of
the Gospel, encouraging them and thanking them for the testimony they offer.
In fact, they witness, in a credible way, to the beauty of a marriage which
is indissoluble and faithful forever, while always remaining faithful to each
other. Within the family, “which could be called a domestic church” (Lumen
Gentium, 11), a person begins a Church experience of communion among
persons, which reflects, through grace, the Mystery of the Holy Trinity. “In
a family, a person learns the effort and the joy of work, fraternal love, and
generosity in forgiving others — always renewed — and above all divine
worship in prayer and the offering of one's life” (Catechism of the
Catholic Church, 1657). The Holy Family of Nazareth is a wondrous model
in whose school we “understand why we have to maintain spiritual discipline,
if we wish to follow the teachings of the Gospel and become Christ’s
disciples” (Blessed Pope Paul VI, Address at Nazareth, 5 January
1964). The Gospel of the Family also nourishes the seeds which are still
waiting to grow; and serves as the basis for caring for those trees which
have withered and must not be neglected.
24. The Church, a sure teacher and
caring mother, recognizes that the only marriage bond for those who are
baptized is sacramental and any breach of it is against the will of God. At
the same time, the Church is conscious of the weakness of many of her
children who are struggling in their journey of faith. “Consequently, without
detracting from the evangelical ideal, they need to accompany with mercy and
patience the eventual stages of personal growth as these progressively occur.
[...] A small step in the midst of great human limitations can be more pleasing
to God than a life which outwardly appears in order and passes the day
without confronting great difficulties. Everyone needs to be touched by the
comfort and attraction of God’s saving love, which is mysteriously at work in
each person, above and beyond their faults and failings” (Evangelii
Gaudium, 44).
25. In considering a pastoral
approach towards people who have contracted a civil marriage, who are
divorced and remarried or simply living together, the Church has the
responsibility of helping them understand the divine pedagogy of grace in
their lives and offering them assistance so they can reach the fullness of
the God’s plan for them. Looking to Christ, whose light illumines every
person (cf. Jn 1:9; Gaudium et Spes, 22), the
Church turns with love to those who participate in her life in an incomplete
manner, recognizing that the grace of God works also in their lives by giving
them the courage to do good, to care for one another in love and to be of
service to the community in which they live and work.
26. The Church looks with concern
at the distrust of many young people in relation to a commitment in marriage
and suffers at the haste with which many of the faithful decide to put an end
to the obligation they assumed and to take on another. These lay faithful,
who are members of the Church, need pastoral attention that is merciful and
encouraging and that adequately distinguishes situations. Young people who
are baptized should be encouraged to understand that the Sacrament of
Marriage can enrich their prospects of love and that they can be sustained by
the grace of Christ in the Sacrament and by the possibility of participating
fully in the life of the Church.
27. In this regard, a new aspect
of family ministry is requiring attention today — the reality of civil
marriages between a man and woman, traditional marriages and, taking into
consideration the differences involved, even cohabitation. When a union
reaches a particular stability, legally recognized, characterized by deep
affection and responsibility for children and showing an ability to overcome
trials, these unions can offer occasions for guidance with an eye towards the
eventual celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage. Very often, on the other
hand, a couple lives together not in view of a possible future marriage but
without any intention of a legally binding relationship.
28. In accordance with Christ’s
mercy, the Church must accompany with attention and care the weakest of her
children, who show signs of a wounded and lost love, by restoring in them
hope and confidence, like the beacon of a lighthouse in a port or a torch
carried among the people to enlighten those who have lost their way or who
are in the midst of a storm. Conscious that the most merciful thing is to
tell the truth in love, we go beyond compassion. Merciful love, as it
attracts and unites, transforms and elevates. It is an invitation to
conversion. We understand the Lord’s attitude in the same way; he does not
condemn the adulterous woman, but asks her to sin no more (Jn 8:1-11).
Confronting
the Situation: Pastoral Perspectives
Proclaiming
the Gospel of the Family Today in Various Contexts
29. Discussion at the synod
focused on some of the more urgent pastoral needs to be addressed in the
local Churches, in communion cum Petro et sub Petro. Proclaiming
the Gospel of the Family is urgently needed in the work of evangelization.
The Church has to carry this out with the tenderness of a mother and the
clarity of a teacher (cf. Eph 4:15), in faithfulness to the
mercy displayed in Christ’s kenosis. Truth became flesh in human
weakness, not to condemn it but to save it (cf. Gn 3:16,
17).
30. Evangelizing is the shared
responsibility of all God’s people, each according to his ministry and
charism. Without the joyous testimony of married people and families,
domestic churches, proclamation, even if done in its proper way, risks being
misunderstood or lost in a flurry of words that is characteristic of society
today (cf. Novo Millennio Ineunte, 50). On various occasions, the
synod fathers emphasized that Catholic families, by reason of the grace of
the Sacrament of Marriage, are called upon to be the active agents in
every pastoral activity on behalf of the family.
31. The primacy of grace needs to
be highlighted and, consequently, the possibilities that the Spirit provides
in the Sacrament. It is a question of allowing people to experience that the
Gospel of the Family is a joy that “fills hearts and lives”, because in
Christ we are “set free from sin, sorrow, inner emptiness, and loneliness” (Evangelii
Gaudium, 1). In light of the Parable of the Sower (cf. Mt 13;3),
our task is to cooperate in the sowing; the rest is God’s work; nor must we
forget that, in preaching about the family, the Church is a sign of
contradiction.
32. Consequently, this work calls
for missionary conversion by everyone in the Church, that
is, not stopping at proclaiming a merely theoretical message with no
connection to people’s real problems. We must continually bear in mind that
the crisis of faith has led to a crisis in marriage and the family and that,
consequently, the transmission of faith itself from parents to children has
often been interrupted. In the face of a strong faith, the imposition of
certain cultural perspectives which weaken the family and marriage will cause
no harm.
33. Conversion also needs to be
seen in the language we use, so that it might prove to be effectively
meaningful. Proclamation needs to create an experience where the Gospel of
the Family responds to the deepest expectations of the human person: a
response to each one’s dignity and complete fulfillment in reciprocity,
communion and fruitfulness. This does not consist, not in merely presenting a
set of rules, but in espousing values that respond to the needs of those who find
themselves today even in the most secularized of countries.
34. The Word of God is the source
of life and spirituality for the family. All pastoral work on behalf of the
family must allow people to be interiorly fashioned and formed as members of
the domestic church through the Church’s prayerful reading of Sacred
Scripture. The Word of God is not only good news in a person’s private life
but also a criterion of judgment and a light in discerning the various
challenges that married couples and families encounter.
35. At the same time, many synod
fathers insisted on a more positive approach to the richness of various
religious experiences, without overlooking the inherent difficulties. In
these different religious realities and in the great cultural diversity that
characterizes countries, positive possibilities should be appreciated first,
and then, on this basis, limitations and deficiencies should be evaluated.
36. Christian marriage is a
vocation that is undertaken with due preparation in a journey of faith with a
proper process of discernment and is not to be considered only a cultural
tradition or social or legal requirement. Therefore, formation is needed to
accompany the person and couple in such a way that the life experience of the
entire ecclesial community can be united with the teaching of the contents of
the faith.
37. The synod fathers repeatedly
called for a thorough renewal of the Church’s pastoral practice in light of
the Gospel of the Family and for replacing its current emphasis on individuals.
For this reason, the synod fathers repeatedly insisted on renewal in the
training of priests, deacons, catechists and other pastoral workers with a
greater involvement of families.
38. They equally highlighted the
fact that evangelization needs to denounce with clarity cultural, social,
political and economic factors, such as the excessive importance given to
market logic, that prevent authentic family life and lead to discrimination,
poverty, exclusion, and violence. Consequently, dialogue and cooperation need
to be developed with the social entities and encouragement given to Christian
lay people who are involved, as Christians, in the cultural and
socio-political fields.
Guiding
Engaged Couples in Their Preparation for Marriage
39. The complex social reality and
the changes affecting the family today require a greater effort on the part
of the whole Christian community in preparing those who are about to be
married. The importance of the virtues needs to be included. Among these,
chastity proves invaluable in the genuine growth of love between persons. In
this regard, the synod fathers jointly insisted on the need to involve the
entire community more extensively by favouring the witness of families
themselves and including preparation for marriage in the course of Christian
Initiation as well as emphasizing the connection between marriage, Baptism
and the other sacraments. Likewise, they felt that specific programmes were
needed in preparing couples for marriage, programmes that create a true
experience of participation in ecclesial life and thoroughly treat the
various aspects of family life.
Accompanying
the Married Couple in the Initial Years of Marriage
40. The initial years of marriage
are a vital and sensitive period during which couples become more aware of
the challenges and meaning of married life. Consequently, pastoral
accompaniment needs to go beyond the actual celebration of the Sacrament (Familiaris
Consortio, Part III). In this regard, experienced couples are of great
importance in any pastoral activity. The parish is the ideal place for these
experienced couples to be of service to younger couples, with the possible
cooperation of associations, ecclesial movements and new communities. Married
couples need encouragement in a basic openness to the great gift of children.
The importance of family spirituality, prayer and participation in the Sunday
Eucharist needs emphasis so couples might be encouraged to meet regularly to
promote growth in their spiritual life and solidarity in the concrete demands
of life. Meaningful liturgies, devotional practices and the Eucharist
celebrated for families, especially on the wedding anniversary, were
mentioned as vital factors in fostering evangelization through the family.
Pastoral
Care for Couples Civilly Married or Living Together
41. While continuing to proclaim
and foster Christian marriage, the Synod also encourages pastoral discernment
of the situations of a great many who no longer live this reality. Entering
into pastoral dialogue with these persons is needed to distinguish elements
in their lives that can lead to a greater openness to the Gospel of Marriage
in its fullness. Pastors ought to identify elements that can foster
evangelization and human and spiritual growth. A new element in today’s
pastoral activity is a sensitivity to the positive aspects of civilly
celebrated marriages and, with obvious differences, cohabitation. While
clearly presenting the Christian message, the Church also needs to indicate
the constructive elements in these situations that do not yet or no longer
correspond to it.
42. The synod fathers also noted
that in many countries “an increasing number of people live together ad
experimentum, in unions that have not been religiously or civilly
recognized” (Instrumentum Laboris, 81). In some countries, this occurs
especially in traditional marriages that are arranged between families and
often celebrated in different stages. Other countries are witnessing a
continual increase in the number of those who, after having lived together
for a long period, request the celebration of marriage in Church. Simply to
live together is often a choice based on a general attitude opposed to
anything institutional or definitive; it can also be done while awaiting more
security in life (a steady job and steady income). Finally, in some countries de
facto marriages are very numerous, not only because of a rejection
of values concerning the family and matrimony but primarily because
celebrating a marriage is considered too expensive in the social
circumstances. As a result, material poverty leads people into de
facto unions.
43. All these situations require a
constructive response, seeking to transform them into opportunities that can
lead to the fullness of marriage and family in conformity with the Gospel.
These couples need to be provided for and guided patiently and discreetly.
With this in mind, the witness of authentic Christian families is
particularly appealing and important as agents in the evangelization of the
family.
Caring
for Wounded Families (Persons who are Separated, Divorced and Not Remarried,
Divorced and Remarried and Single-Parent Families)
44. Married couples with problems
in their relationship should be able to count on the assistance and guidance
of the Church. The pastoral work of charity and mercy seeks to help persons
recover and restore relationships. Experience shows that with proper
assistance and acts of reconciliation, though grace, a great percentage of
troubled marriages find a solution in a satisfying manner. To know how to
forgive and to feel forgiven is a basic experience in family life.
Forgiveness between husband and wife permits a couple to experience a
never-ending love that does not pass away (cf. 1 Cor 13:8).
At times, this is difficult, but those who have received God’s forgiveness
are given the strength to offer a genuine forgiveness that regenerates
persons.
45. The necessity for courageous
pastoral choices was particularly evident at the Synod. Strongly reconfirming
their faithfulness to the Gospel of the Family and acknowledging that separation
and divorce are always wounds that cause deep suffering to the married couple
and to their children, the synod fathers felt the urgent need to embark on a
new pastoral course based on the present reality of weaknesses within the
family, knowing oftentimes that these are more “endured” with suffering than
freely chosen. These situations vary because of personal, cultural and
socio-economic factors. Therefore, solutions need to be considered in a
variety of ways, as suggested by Pope St. John Paul II (cf. Familiaris
Consortio, 84).
46. All families should, above
all, be treated with respect and love and accompanied on their journey as
Christ accompanied the disciples on the road to Emmaus. In a particular way,
the words of Pope Francis apply in these situations: “The Church will have to
initiate everyone – priests, religious and laity – into this ‘art of
accompaniment’, which teaches us to remove our sandals before the sacred
ground of the other (cf. Ex 3:5). The pace of this
accompaniment must be steady and reassuring, reflecting a closeness and
compassion which, at the same time, heals, liberates and encourages growth in
the Christian life” (Evangelii Gaudium, 169).
47. A special discernment is
indispensable for pastorally guiding persons who are separated, divorced or
abandoned. Respect needs to be primarily given to the suffering of those who
have unjustly endured separation, divorce or abandonment, or those who have
been forced by maltreatment from a husband or a wife to interrupt their life
together. To forgive such an injustice that has been suffered is not easy,
but grace makes this journey possible. Pastoral activity, then, needs to be
geared towards reconciliation and mediation of differences, which might even
take place in specialized “listening centres” established in dioceses. At the
same time, the synod fathers emphasized the necessity of addressing, in a
faithful and constructive fashion, the consequences of separation or divorce
on children, in every case the innocent victims of the situation. Children
must not become an “object” of contention. Instead, every suitable means
ought to be sought to ensure that they can overcome the trauma of a family
break-up and grow as serenely as possible. In each case, the Church is always
to point out the injustice that very often is associated with divorce.
Special attention is to be given in the guidance of single-parent families,
so that women who have to bear alone the responsibility of providing a home
and raising their children can receive assistance.
48. A great number of synod
fathers emphasized the need to make the procedure in cases of nullity more
accessible and less time-consuming, and, if possible, at no expense. They
proposed, among others, the dispensation of the requirement of second instance
for confirming sentences; the possibility of establishing an administrative
means under the jurisdiction of the diocesan bishop; and a simple process to
be used in cases where nullity is clearly evident. Some synod fathers,
however, were opposed to these proposals, because they felt that they would
not guarantee a reliable judgment. In all these cases, the synod fathers
emphasized the primary character of ascertaining the truth about the validity
of the marriage bond. Among other proposals, the role which faith plays in
persons who marry could possibly be examined in ascertaining the validity of
the Sacrament of Marriage, all the while maintaining that the marriage of two
baptized Christians is always a sacrament.
49. With respect to marriage
cases, the streamlining of the procedure, requested by many synod fathers, in
addition to the preparation of a sufficient number of persons — clerics and
lay people — primarily dedicated to this work will require increased
responsibility of the diocesan bishop. This work could be done through
specially trained counselors who would be able to offer free advice to the
concerned parties on the validity of their marriage. This work could be done
in an office or by qualified persons (cf. Dignitas Connubii, art.
113, 1).
50. Divorced people who have not
remarried, who oftentimes bear witness to their promise of faithfulness in
marriage, ought to be encouraged to find in the Eucharist the nourishment
they need to sustain them in their present state of life. The local community
and pastors ought to accompany these people with solicitude, particularly
when children are involved or when they are in serious financial difficulty.
51. Likewise, those who are
divorced and remarried require careful discernment and an accompaniment of
great respect. Language or behavior that might make them feel an object of
discrimination should be avoided, all the while encouraging them to
participate in the life of the community. The Christian community’s care of
such persons is not to be considered a weakening of its faith and testimony
to the indissolubility of marriage, but, precisely in this way, the community
is seen to express its charity.
52. The synod father also
considered the possibility of giving the divorced and remarried access to the
Sacraments of Penance and the Eucharist. Various synod fathers insisted on
maintaining the present discipline, because of the constitutive relationship
between participation in the Eucharist and communion with the Church as well
as her teaching on the indissoluble character of marriage. Others proposed a
more individualized approach, permitting access in certain situations and
with certain well-defined conditions, primarily in irreversible situations
and those involving moral obligations towards children who would have to
endure unjust suffering. Access to the sacraments might take place if
preceded by a penitential practice, determined by the diocesan bishop. The
subject needs to be thoroughly examined, bearing in mind the distinction
between an objective sinful situation and extenuating circumstances, given
that “imputability and responsibility for an action can be diminished or even
nullified by ignorance, inadvertence, duress, fear, habit, inordinate
attachments, and other psychological or social factors” (Catechism of the
Catholic Church, 1735).
53. Some synod fathers maintained
that divorced and remarried persons or those living together can have
fruitful recourse to a spiritual communion. Others raised the question as to
why, then, they cannot have access to sacramental Communion. As a result, the
synod fathers requested that further theological study in the matter with a
view to making clear the distinctive features of the two forms and their
connection with the theology of marriage.
54. The problems relative to mixed
marriages were frequently raised in the interventions of the synod fathers.
The differences in the matrimonial regulations of the Orthodox Churches
creates serious problems in some contexts, which require due consideration
from the point of view of ecumenism. Analogously, the contribution of the
dialogue with other religions would be important for interreligious
marriages.
Pastoral
Attention towards Persons with Homosexual Tendencies
55. Some families have members who
have a homosexual tendency. In this regard, the synod fathers asked
themselves what pastoral attention might be appropriate for them in
accordance with Church teaching: “There are absolutely no grounds for
considering homosexual unions to be in any way similar or even remotely
analogous to God's plan for marriage and family.” Nevertheless, men and women
with a homosexual tendency ought to be received with respect and sensitivity.
“Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided”
(Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Considerations Regarding
Proposals to Give Legal Recognition to Unions Between Homosexual Persons,
4).
56. Exerting pressure in this
regard on the Pastors of the Church is totally unacceptable: it is equally
unacceptable for international organizations to link their financial
assistance to poorer countries with the introduction of laws that establish
“marriage” between persons of the same sex.
The
Transmission of Life and the Challenges of a Declining Birthrate
57. Today, the diffusion of a
mentality that reduces the generation of human life to one variable of an
individual’s or couple’s plans is easily observable. Sometimes, economic
factors are burdensome, contributing to a sharp drop in the birthrate that
weakens the social fabric, compromises relations between generations and
renders a future outlook more uncertain. Openness to life is an intrinsic
requirement of married love. In this regard, the Church supports families who
accept, raise and surround with affection children with various disabilities.
58. Pastoral work in this area
needs to start with listening to people and acknowledging the beauty and
truth of an unconditional openness to life, which is needed, if human love is
to be lived fully. This serves as the basis for an appropriate teaching
regarding the natural methods for responsible procreation, which allow a
couple to live, in a harmonious and conscious manner, the loving
communication between husband and wife in all its aspects along with their
responsibility at procreating life. In this regard, we should return to the
message of the Encyclical Humanae Vitae of Blessed Pope Paul
VI, which highlights the need to respect the dignity of the person in morally
assessing methods in regulating births. The adoption of children, orphans and
the abandoned and accepting them as one’s own is a specific form of the
family apostolate (cf. Apostolicam Actuositatem, III, 11), and
has oftentimes been called for and encouraged by the Magisterium (cf. Familiaris
Consortio, III, II; Evangelium Vitae, IV, 93). The choice of
adoption or foster parenting expresses a particular fruitfulness of married
life, not simply in the case of sterility. Such a choice is a powerful sign
of family love and an occasion to witness to one’s faith and to restore the
dignity of a son or daughter to a person who has been deprived of this
dignity.
59. Affectivity needs assistance,
also in marriage, as a path to maturity in the ever-deepening acceptance of
the other and an ever-fuller gift of self, in this sense, the necessity of offering
programmes of formation that nourish married life and the importance of the
laity, providing an accompaniment that consists in a vibrant witness, was
reiterated. Undoubtedly, the example of a faithful and deep love is of great
assistance; a love shown in tenderness and respect; a love that is capable of
growing over time; and a love that, in the very act of opening itself to the
generation of life, gives an experience of a mystery that transcends us.
Upbringing
and the Role of the Family in Evangelization
60. One of the fundamental
challenges facing families today is undoubtedly that of raising children,
made all the more difficult and complex by today’s cultural reality and the
great influence of the media. Consideration, then, needs to be given to the
needs and expectations of families, capable of being places of growth in
daily life, places of a concrete and essential transmission of the virtues
that give form to our existence. Parents, then, are able freely to choose the
type of education for their children, according to their convictions.
61. The Church assumes a valuable
role in supporting families, starting with Christian Initiation, by being
welcoming communities. More than ever, these communities today are to offer
support to parents, in complex situations and everyday life, in their work of
raising their children, accompanying children, adolescents and young people
in their development through personalized pastoral programmes, capable of
introducing them to the full meaning of life and encouraging them in their
choices and responsibilities, lived in the light of the Gospel. Mary, in her
tenderness, mercy and maternal sensitivity can nourish the hunger of humanity
and life itself. Therefore, families and the Christian people should seek her
intercession. Pastoral work and Marian devotion are an appropriate starting
point for proclaiming the Gospel of the Family.
62. These proposed reflections,
the fruit of the synodal work that took place in great freedom and with a
spirit of reciprocal listening, are intended to raise questions and indicate
points of view that will later be developed and clarified through reflection
in the local Churches in the intervening year leading to the XIV Ordinary
General Assembly of the Synod of Bishops, scheduled for October 2015 to treat The
Vocation and Mission of the Family in the Church and in the Contemporary
World. These are not decisions taken nor are they easy subjects.
Nevertheless, in the collegial journey of the bishops and with the
involvement of all God’s people, the Holy Spirit will guide us in finding the
road to truth and mercy for all. This has been the wish of Pope Francis from
the beginning of our work, when he invited us to be courageous in faith and
humbly and honestly to embrace the truth in charity.
[03044-02.021] [Original text:
Italian - Translation update: 27 November 2014]
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